Back In The Dating Scene

Hi Hal,
I’m 76 and lost my wife just over two years ago.  I haven’t been sexually active recently as my spouse was quite ill and I frankly neither she nor I were very interested.  Now I am back in the dating scene and can see that the possibility of sexual activity is quite real but I will definitely need to use some sort of ED (erectile dysfunction) medication.  I know of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.  Which one is best?
Hi Ed,
Welcome to the world of the Suddenly Solo.  I also quickly discovered that you should definitely be prepared to be sexually active so your question is certainly timely.  Of course, medical advise is essential but unless there is some medical reason not to, you might want to try several ED meds to see which one works best for you.  By “best” I mean which one has the most effective response with the least side effects.  Ask your physician for product samples if you are indeed a good candidate for this type of medication. You may be surprised at how different brands impact your performance. However, no medication can substitute for desire and don’t forget: the one thing that you should always use, no matter which brand you choose is a condom. Be safe.


  1. Marlene

    Another method men could use is ‘clinical hypnosis’ with a properly trained professional. The ‘unconsious’ mind ‘can stop bleeding’…the ‘unconsious’ mind can ‘stop pain’…and so on…A professional can help those help themselves…This doesn’t have to be the last method…but perhaps the first prior any medication…Dr. Marlene

  2. My mother pssaed away suddenly 1 month before her and my father’s 26 wedding anniversary.My father began dating 3 months later after a visit to my mother for Valentine’s Day. During this visit to the gravesite he remembered that him and she had told one another that should something happen to the other that the remaining person should move on with their life. Live and enjoy the rest of their time on earth. No knowing what the dating world was like 26 years later My father signed up for He came across a woman who was (quite frankly) him with t*ts as I said. She was an amazing woman who I even came to love very quickly Some think my father moved on quickly, was cheating before mom pssaed, didn’t actually love my mom, didn’t deal with his grief etc etc etc NOT TRUE. I know my father probably better than anyone on this earth. He is my best friend. He NEVER cheated on my mother (maybe vice versa but we will never know). He grieved fiercly for months and actually had me worried about the possibility of suicide. He loved my mother, but had been dealing with the weakening of their relationship for years (she was an alcoholic). So quickly may be the closest anyone could critcize Anyway, this woman, Donna, was amazing and made my father the happiest he had been in decades He was prepared to propose just over a year after they first met Unfortunately, our family was grieving her loss 2 weeks before he was going to propose since she was killed in a motorcycle accident in FL.My father, again, was in the throes of grief. He was writing to Donna through her Match account as a way to stay connected and therefore women were soliciting his active’ account. He began a SLOW friendly internet relationship with a woman about 5 months after Donna’s passing. I like this woman, he is taking things slow, and we all agree that she is NOT a replacement for Mom, and that she/nor anyone will ever compare to how perfect Donna was for my father.I think it depends on the person and circumstances. My father still have boughts of tears grief over both my mother and Donna He loves them both and always will But he is moving on and living the short life we all have. He doesn’t take a single day for granted and I love that I am happy for my father!!! I believe the only people who might’ be justified in criticizing someone for moving on after a loss would be the children, but I MORE SO believe that as long as the surviving parent is happy and enjoying their life that NO ONE has a right to step in or voice their opinion.Life is short Life and love as you see fit

  3. Dear Hal,  Saw your story on the Today Show this morning and thought it was VERY interesting.
    But I guess I missed the part that it was only for men of a certain age.
    I am a woman of a certain age, have been solo for almost 5 years, after a 32 year marriage,  tried dating sites, etc., and am very discouraged.
    Is there any help for me?
    PS:  I am also a little shy.

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