Going Dutch

Hello Hal-
This is a first for me. I just started to date following my wife’s passing away two years ago (I am 68) and following a lovely dinner, my companion insisted on paying half the check.  I haven’t gone out “Dutch” in over fifty years!  This was our first date and I admit I was rather attracted to this woman but I am now concerned that her reaching for her wallet does not bode well. Your thoughts?
Hi Alan,
All is not lost.  Many women carry their well-earned spirit of independence with them at all times and especially in first-date scenarios.  They don’t want to feel beholding to anyone and often wish to establish a sense of equality early in a relationship.  So don’t take it personally.  (Interestingly, I have heard that some women use this as a way to see how much you tip when calculating who owes what!)  Many of the social conventions that we grew up with years ago come back at interesting moments so if you like her I suggest that you, “go with the flow” and see where it leads.

1 Comment

  1. Marlene

    Hi Hal, Most women I know [over 50] will generally offer to pay for 1/2 of the dinner when there is ‘no interest’ and they do not want to feel obligated. It is an easier way out of perhaps the probably 2nd date…
    This is a woman’s way of thinking:)…Marlene

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