Broken Hearted in Boston

Dear Hal,
The lady I had been dating exclusively for over a year just broke up with me.  She said she didn’t feel the same about me as she did when we first started going out and she ended it with me over dinner.  I didn’t think at my age (73) that I would take it so hard but I have to admit it really hurts.  Any advice on how to move on?
Broken Hearted in Boston

 

 

Dear Broken Hearted,

I feel for you.  Rejection stings the heart no matter how old you are.

You have taken the first step on your recovery process by telling me that you want to move on.  You should.  Take heart in the fact that you are obviously worthy of affection and that you are open to relationships. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you will be all right . . . because you will be.  Make plans with friends to go out for meals, theater, movies, sporting events, anything that gets you out of your house. Sign up for activities like museum lectures, adult education classes, computer seminars, etc.  Keep yourself very busy to the point that you might have to drop some of these things because you are (at least temporarily) over-programmed. If you have not done so already, get rid of any keepsakes or memorabilia that you may have acquired as a couple.  There is no point in keeping reminders . . . they will hold you back.  Although you may be tempted to do so, do not disparage your former flame to anyone.  Take the high ground and if asked what happened, say, “it didn’t work out.”  It’s a small world and you don’t want to come off as bitter. Take the high ground.  And finally, remember that as a Suddenly Solo male, you are in demand.  The fact that you have proven you are capable of being in a long-term relationship will make you even more attractive to other women.  Please write me and tell me how things are going, OK?

Best,

HAL

2 Comments

  1. Daniel Parks

    Oh gosh! I fear i have already taken the low road, i am trying to be better after my wife of 29yrs left me for a younger man.  I have been so stunned that i am just now beginning to move forward (its been 3mo) 
    Thanks for being here, i really need your support to move on, i am highly sensitive and emotional, 30yrs is a lifetime, and i am 66 now. 
    I have been so lost like a boat in a storm without a rudder. My soon to be ex was my everything, i had no friends, always been a loner anyway so it is a tough road to haul myself up.
    Daniel

  2. admin

    Daniel,
    Your letter clearly sounds like the voice of an intelligent,perceptive person who has been kicked in the balls…and that really
    hurts. But somewhere in the past that really did happen to you and you recovered and you will recover again…possibly with less pain than the kick was. Why???
    First off, help is out there. There are support groups at the local Y or church specifically for this situation. Most clergy are trained to help. But turning to support groups is the stock answer (though they really do help). Here is something less frequently mentioned. Simply put you are in demand because you are a guy in his 60s and there are many more single women out there for every guy in this age group. Look around you. At restaurants there are multiple tables of women eating with other
    women. Go to the movies and there are little groups of women watching together. The same thing for attending or monitoring classes at a university or at adult ed. (Incidentally a good place to make new friends both male and female.) And of course there is the Internet. I ran a little test a while ago. I put my basic data into Seniorsinglesmeet.com. (I assure you I am not nearly as young or as active as you probably are.) I was immediately shown 50 screens with 10 women on each screen that were in
    my state and in my general age range with similar interests that had been on this website in the past 24 hours looking to meet a nice man. 500 women. Wow! We’re the guys in the candy store, even allowing for bogus entries.

    Yes, your ego is badly bruised. But sitting and watching TV and thinking of her will not help. You have to get off your butt and put yourself out there. It will not be easy and there will be bumps but you have an opportunity for a new life and you can do the things you have wanted to do unencumbered by an uncaring spouse. At this point happiness may not be another women so take a look at the video on our website of the guy who got the ’68 Pontiac of his dreams (Larry) ….after he
    got divorced. He has a smile on his face that his ex-wife probably could never bring. So write down your own “bucket list” and start doing the things that you have always wanted to do…..and start NOW.
    Please let me know how you are doing, OK?
    HAL

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.