To Gift or Not to Gift?

Dear Hal-
After three years since I got divorced (I am 66), I am seeing a really terrific woman (she is my age, divorced for seven years). We have been out together three times thus far and she is very affectionate and I know we are heading towards the bedroom very soon. Do you think it is appropriate to send her flowers or a gift of some sort the next day assuming all goes well?

Confused

 

Dear Confused-
I say, “no” for a several reasons. First of all, what you share is really a gift for the both of you and I don’t believe it is necessary for one person (especially at our age) to sort of co-opt it. I also think that sending something has a, “paying for it” kind of feel to it that belittles both of you. However, I am a big believer in phone calls the next day to enhance the bond you have established. Save the flowers or gifts for birthdays or events or even, “no particular reason” giving . . . but definitely not that particular reason!
Hal

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