Online Dating Update

Much has been written about online dating (we at Suddenly Solo have certainly been contributors to the collective knowledge base!).  Like it or not, online dating will continue to be in almost every single person’s quiver of Eros-arrows.  And as we’ve noted in our book, the over 50-demographic is the fastest-growing segment of online daters.

Rather than recycle much of the common sense cautions that are now well-known to most of us, here are some very interesting tidbits that Julie Spira, author of “The Perils of Cyber Dating,” recently noted:

  • Chemistry – Don’t worry too much about it when you are just exchanging emails. It is prudent to have some written, online correspondence before meeting or speaking on the phone, says Ms. Spira.  But remember that not everyone comes across well in text format.  Agree to chat on the phone if the match seems at least feasible, even though you don’t sense a spark from the email exchanges.  Then, if the phone call is enjoyable, agree to meet even if there still isn’t any real emotional electricity. Chemistry often comes only when couples actually meet in person.
  • Confidentiality – Ms. Spira suggests that you open an email account and a Google Voice phone number ( that you use specifically for online dating. It keeps an extra “space” between yourself and those you might not otherwise want to contact you for any reason down the road.  Such accounts are easier to monitor since they will be used exclusively for this one purpose and you can suspend or cancel them without impacting other facets of your digital identity and life.
  • Meet-Ups – Even if you don’t believe you present well online, or you just are not comfortable with traditional one-on-one online dating, you should definitely consider “meet-ups.”  These are where dating site members gather in person, typically at a bar. “ has been particularly active in arranging group events. It’s a great option for people who struggle to express themselves in an email and for those who prefer low-stress informal gatherings,” says Julie Spira.   Her extensive experience in the online dating arena has made her a believer in these types of events. “Group events tend to be quite friendly and the dating sites that sponsor them strive to make them gender-balanced and age-appropriate.”

If you would like more of Ms. Spira’s fascinating insights into the world of online dating, visit her website at


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