You Can’t Handle Sandals

The weather is getting warmer and you will begin seeing fashion at its best and its worst.  We know that for Suddenly Solo men, there certainly are times when comfort will trump fashion, but please take a moment to reconsider wearing sandals anywhere but around the house or at the beach.  With the possible exception of male foot models, it’s safe to guess that 99.97% of mature men will not be able to pull off the look in public.

These male sandals (“mandals”) will generally draw the disgust of most women who just don’t find men’s feet attractive.  To be honest, we don’t find them that appealing either!  Pedicures may be able to bring some semblance of respectability to your feet, but at their very best, they are really not meant to be on display.  Toenails (length, color, condition, etc.) are never aphrodisiacs.  Also, our feet are generally lighter in color than the rest of our bodies so they are likely to have a clammy, embalmed-looking pallor.

Mandals include flip flops, Crocs, Keens, leather-wrapped fisherman’s sandals, and virtually any style that exposes any part of your feet south of the ankle.  It goes without saying that wearing socks to cover your feet while wearing sandals is just plain wrong.  Always.

So what passes for acceptable general-population, hot-weather footwear?  Loafers, moccasins, and boat shoes (all can be worn without socks) look good on guys our age.  And if you wear these without hosiery (don’t wear socks with short pants), here are some hints to making the look work successfully for you and to extend the life of your footwear:

  • Don’t wear the same shoes more than two days in a row.  Shoes need to dry out, so give them a “breather.”  Use cedar shoe-trees (not varnished) to help dry and freshen the shoes between wearings.
  • Use shoe powder.  Sprinkle some in your shoes before slipping them on.
  • Wash your feet.  Keep them bacteria-free by actually scrubbing them when you bathe. Don’t think that sink soap (when lather just follows gravity down your body!) will clean them sufficiently.

There are now “no-show” socks that actually live up to their name if you are uncomfortable with going completely foot-native.  And here’s a trick to de-odorize shoes: put them in a sealable plastic sandwich bag and place them in the freezer overnight!

 

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