No Initial Spark? Should You Try Again?

Let’s say you do as we suggest here at Suddenly Solo and meet a new person for some coffee or similar low-key event and you don’t feel any initial connection. Does that mean you should close the book on things? Can someone give a less than laudatory first impression but still be right for you on some level?  Is it worth giving a person a second chance?  Let’s think about it.

What was missing?  Was it boring? Dating should certainly be interesting, but the lady might just be having an “off” moment at THAT moment!  There are so many things going on in a person’s life at our age and social situation that there might be an unconscious defense mechanism at work, pushing against engagement that could be worth making the effort to break through.  After all, first-meeting jitters can come across as being aloof.  So if the absolute worst thing you can say about the time together is that it was dull, we think the possibility that there are mitigating factors manifesting themselves as a lack of spark make a second attempt (again, keeping it “lite” insofar as venue) a worthwhile effort.

The dating website eHarmony notes, “On an interest level of 1 to 10, perhaps you walked away from the evening at a whopping 3. That’s not very impressive… unless you began your date at a 1 or 2. If you felt yourself warming even the teensiest bit toward your date after an hour or two, would the trend continue through a second, third or fourth date? It may well be worth the time to find out.”

Our Suddenly Solo research indicates that “chemistry” can indeed develop over time.  And that can be a good thing. Sometimes the all-consuming “love at first sight” chemistry is not necessarily a positive scenario.  It can cloud your judgment as those endorphins start taking over.  Giving delayed chemistry a chance is often well worth the effort as these kinds of relationships develop on a firmer foundation.

So sometimes it just might pay to give a first impression a second chance!


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