The “No Contact” Rule Following a Breakup

We received a great deal of emails following our recent article on breakups, so we thought it worthwhile to restate that a “No Contact” regimen be implemented immediately as a standard operating procedure.

Don’t call, text, write, or email.  Block the person on your Facebook page right now (it’s in the Privacy Settings as a customizable option).  Your ex will not be notified that you blocked her, but if she found out and contacted you regarding this, don’t feel guilty.  You are doing this because YOU are the most important person in your life right now.

One important thing to remember is that your ex can still appear in mutual friends updates, so we recommend that you block them as well. You can “unblock” them later when you are up to it.

Some people find it just impossible to “let go” of their exes.  In Minnesota, a man was charged with stalking his ex by adopting a pseudonym and initiating an online relationship with her. He was successful at persuading her to let him watch her over a webcam and confide “intimate details of her life and daily activities.” All this went on while their real life divorce was pending and she was planning to file a protection order against him!

How long should you be in radio silence?  Experts say a minimum of sixty days. This will give you a chance to adequately focus on you and appropriately put yourself at the center of your healing.

This time of year is a fine time to travel and further distance yourself from your ex.  It will make it far easier to stick with the No Contact Rule (NCR).  Don’t post pictures of what you’re up to with any mutual “friends” as it will circumvent the purpose of the NCR.  Accept the fact that your ex is actually the biggest obstacle you have at this moment to achieving happiness.

 

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