Can’t Lose the Wedding Ring?

There is a great deal of thought and emotion that goes into the decision to remove a wedding ring when your partner is gone.  In the case of divorce, it can be an especially highly-charged moment.  In the case of becoming a widower, it can require a great deal of time to symbolically “let go” of this symbol.

In addition to your own state of mind, there is often the reaction of your family. Many Suddenly Solos may feel it will upset the children or family if they remove the ring, so it’s a good idea to discuss it with them, explain that you have thought through why you are taking off the ring, and ask them to respect your decision. You have to do what is right for you.  We have heard of women who wear their wedding bands on their right hand as a sign that they were married before but are now available.

Continuing to wear a wedding band can become a “crutch” that you unconsciously create to keep female attention away if you don’t think you’re ready for that kind of connection.  Don’t do it.  It can become habit-forming.

Sometimes the dilemma is actually physical, however – it’s stuck!  Here are some tips to remove a ring from your finger:

  • Apply lubricant like hand sanitizer and work it under and around the ring.
  • Hold a bag of ice in your hand, above your head, to numb the finger and do the lube trick again.
  • Put a strand of waxed dental floss through the rings and gently move it back and forth around the circumference of your finger.  The wax and compression may help.

Don’t try and cut it off by yourself.  Go to a jewelry store or a hospital.  They can use tools and resources that can help you separate yourself from this symbol of your past.

 

 

3 Comments

  1. ed dunegan

    I want to keep my ring on.I wear hers also.

  2. R. Wray

    I had my husbands wedding ring resized after I lost him to fit me. Then had our rings fixed together to make one. I wear it on my right hand, and even moving those rings to my right hand took me four years. We’re all on differnt time schedules regarding grief. Do what makes you feel comfortable, you’ll know when it right and when it’s time to move on.

  3. P Fleming

    Neither my husband nor I had worn our original rings for years so after he passed I took both rings and had an twisted Celtic knot made for a necklace. It still makes me feel connected to him in a very private way.

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