Introducing Your Girlfriend To Your Adult Children

And you thought just finding someone was difficult . . . even after you do, things can really get complicated!

At our age, integrating a new lover to your adult children can be an extremely touchy situation.  There are lots of emotions that come into play.  Even when your kids have told you to “be happy,” they aren’t really prepared for you to actually connect to another person.

We speak about this in our book, Suddenly Solo, and here are few hints that may make it easier for you:

  • Later Is Better Than Sooner.  Be sure the person is someone you are really serious about.  This is going to be a tricky maneuver so be sure you aren’t setting yourself up for multiple bouts.
  • Prep.  Be sure you tell your lady about your family.  What they do, how many children they have, where they went to school, etc.  The more she knows about them, the easier it will be for her to converse.
  • Event Plan.  Don’t just “hang-out” with your family.  The downtime therein can be painfully quiet!  Make it a picnic, a lunch, an outing, etc.  It’s easier to have set start and end times.  Less is more when it comes to duration here.
  • Set It Up.  When you introduce her, put in some detail to cue her in.  “This is my daughter Lisa, the architect.”
  • Go Easy on PDA.  It goes without saying that a first meeting is not the time to be overly affectionate with your Really Close Friend (RCF).
  • Control Your Expectations.  If you expect an instant connection from all concerned, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  Think of the meeting as part of a process that will likely take time.

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