Not Looking for a Relationship

Dear Hal-
Since my divorce three years ago, I have been with several women. I am 68 years old. You are quite right when you advise men to just open themselves up to possibilities as women certainly seem to be “out there.” That said, I have found that women are still very “monogamous-minded,” insofar as they want relationships with guys and are very possessive. I am not a playboy, but each woman I have been with get very suspicious and clingy in short order. “Where were you? Who were you with? When will you be back?” quickly enter into our dialogues no matter how benign my activities without her may be. I am not looking for a relationship anymore but just some pleasant companionship. Don’t at least some women want this also or do they all just want another husband or full time squire?

Not Hefner


Dear Not Hefner-
You are not specific when you say you have, “been with” several women, but my experience has shown that to women, sex almost always means commitment. So I think your perception is largely correct and that the majority of women do expect more from a lover than a dinner date. While our Suddenly Solo studies did show there are a small number of women who are comfortable with a very casual roll in the hay, they are as hard to find as a needle in the aforementioned hay.

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